absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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