Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
