i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
