The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
