I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
