I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
