Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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