That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
is it fun? or sober?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
