No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
