If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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