Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
