I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
