And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
