i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
