Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
