Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
