I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
