If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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