Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
