dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
