Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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