It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
