Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
