the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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