direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i dont even know how to be here
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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