Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
