i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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