hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
