Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
