from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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