um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
