I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
