Plan B is the new Plan A
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
