Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
