I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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