we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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