its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
