i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
