have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
