he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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