Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
