You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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