hell yes lets make some ravioli
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize