so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
