i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
