I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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