I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize