..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
