I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
