wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
