When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize