please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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