So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
