as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
not ubering you a puppy
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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