their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
