I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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