the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
