your room smells of hookers.
And success
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
