i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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