Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
